Hello! You know, a lot of people have said to me recently, "Yoz, what
time should I show up on Sunday?" And I say to them, "Oh, you don't
need to be there for the tish, but if you don't hold by mincha then
davka you should stam be for the kiddushin and erusin with the
mishpoche." And then they look at me funny, and ask me again, slower.

Here's the deal:

MIncha is at 3:45. This is afternoon prayers. You don't need to be
there for that.
Chuppah is at 4. This is the actual wedding ceremony. You DO need to
be there for that. (If you're, like, actually coming.)
(The "ch" sounds in the above words are pronounced gutturally, like
the Scottish "och".)

An explanation of the ceremony itself will be in the printed booklet
you'll get at the wedding. I wrote it, so expect lots of bad jokes.
(If you want a preview, let me know and I'll mail you the text)

My suggestion is that you get there around 3:45, to leave a comfy
barrier for general milling. The prayers won't even involve most
people let alone everyone, so don't worry about getting sucked into a
bizarre Jewish prayer ritual without your consent. (That comes later.)

For the chuppah there'll be separate seating - men on one side, women
on the other. Similarly, the dancing during the meal will also be
separated, but there'll be mixed dancing at the end.

Another important thing to bear in mind: Strictly Orthodox men and women
do not touch members of the opposite sex who aren't relatives. So it's
best not to initiate a hug or kiss on the cheek if you're not sure.

As for dress code, "lounge suit" means smart, apparently - but not
dinner suit. Also, given that there'll be quite a lot of religious
people there, the less-revealing stuff would be better. The men will
be given yarmulkes (skullcaps) so don't worry about tracking one down
beforehand.

I think that covers most of the stuff I can think of, but I've
probably forgotten something, so if you have any other questions, I'll
try and answer them a bit more promptly. :)